Just do what you want to do, say what you want to say. Just go your own way. Do what you want to do, say what you want to say. And if you don't want to stay. Scream, revolt, run away.


Last hours in PE for a while... And my place is almost clean, haha, miracles do happen! Brunch with Mac and Elm at Cobblestone, then flying to Joburg, then few hours there, and a looong flight to Madrid, then waitwaitwait - aaaalmost home! Then flyflyfly, STOCKHOLM! Then to the summerhouse.. Can't wait! I've probably forgotten something now... It's always something, hmmmmm!


Why always listen to the leader of the herd. You can speak for yourself, just try a little word. So don't think why people praise you. They say it's better to ask than assume.

What I'm doing for the next two days?

Port Elizabeth - Johannesburg
13.30 - 15.05

Johannesburg - Madrid
20.20 - 06.35

Madrid - Stockholm
10.10 - 14.00

You don't mind the fall until your face hits the ground. Crash and burn girl. You should have a sticker on you saying WARNING! KEEP OUT!


Two showers and countless minutes of brushing teeth. Last night: Beyli's 21st. Rock&Popstars. We went rock. Then alcohol. Then recognition of camera. Pretty much in that order. 118 photos later. Then home. And found a new neighbour and his friend on our way from the car to the door. Yes we drove to Shugar. Any questions on that? It was RAINING. Today? Well it's not like I shall be coming any closer to finding the cure of cancer.... Perhaps finish the last of the movies which are lying on my tv-bench. And eat food with Cass and Elm. Obviously.


It's just that every time you mess it up like that. I see myself in you. I've been there too.

bahambaham. today shall be laaaazy! leaving SA tomorrow, arriving in Sweden on Tuesday. 14.00. bahambahaaaa!

There's a stranger in my bed. There's a pounding my head. Glitter all over the room .Is this a hickie or a bruise? 

Tjalalala. Shorts or dress? I hate dress-ups that aren't really a dress-up. Well. Tonight we shall go: BLACKBLACKBLACKWHISKEYWHISKEYWHISKEYBLACKBLACKBLACK. Tomorrow is going to be........lovley.


Last Friday night. We danced on tabletops. And we took too many shots. Think we kissed but I forgot. 

aaaw it's rather amazing when you realise that perhaps you don't need all of the 20 dresses and 15 pairs of shoes you've packed. and you can actually carry the bag without any greater difficulty. and when you've packed all bottles neatly. and cleaned out the fridge. and done the last shopping. and almost have an outfit done for tonight. and have the most amazing playlist ever. and a hand-luggage which is not heavy. yes life is good! :)

It's like the blind, leading the blind. Only to find.... You won't let love in.


Too much tea, too many thoughts, too many words which are not the appropriate ones. I would love to say too many feelings, but I'm way too confused, and for once I'm really looking forward to coming home, spending a week at the summer house, and just unwind. Disappear off the radar for a while, reckon it shall do me good, hopefully before I'm losing it completely. Perhaps becoming a nun, maybe that's where everything is going wrong all the time. Not knowing, not wanting to know, not wanting to wait and see, needing the excitement, never stay in one place, one person, one love. Always as much as possible, as fun as possible, as new as possible. Always someone new, never leaving a stone unturned, never ever leaving a "what if". Never having an answer to the why, other than, it was fun. At least in the moment. I think. Because if not the justification is as easy as the answer....if it wasn't fun at the time, why did I do it?


Just like the blind leading the blind. Asking me why, you won’t let the love in. Like the blind leading the blind. Only to find your feelings are nothing,

So I loveveve how easy some things are! A week in Nice perhaps? Hmmmmmm, yes please!

So I've realised...my family is wack.
And I blame it all on my mother.

That's it. Now one more movie.

Today: Lunch with the girls, shopping at....Builder's Wearhouse (hahaha)..., then painting of wall, then Elm and I went to rent 5 movies and raided Spar for everything that could be unhealthy, spending the evening lying with our blankets in my couch. And now I'm speaking to mother dearest.

Oh a day of absolutely nothing! Well, apart from coffee-drinking at various places with various people, but that's clearly not as important...as it involves other people... Bahambaham! Otherwise I've taken a shower, had tea with Cass, cleaned my kitchen, almost made food, and restructured my itunes. Now I need to change my bedding, finish packing somewhat, read ELLE and watch random movies. Perhaps even clean the lounge...so much effort!

Sometimes I wonder why I always end up taking a detour to every place I want to go to. And then, due to the detour, a.k.a. the extra time I have to think about the destination, I start doubting the first impulse which wanted me to go there in the beginning. Is is because I am so terribly restless and detours are always a fun option? Or is it simply because I did not want to reach that final destination to start with? Ah all these issues. It was easier in elementary school.

YES [  ]
NO [  ]
MAYBE [  ]

To add to it..going back home.... They say old habits die hard.






And these pills have yet to impress.. Highly disappointing!

Today : Breakfast with Andrew then lunch with Elm n Cass. Then shopping, found the cutest dress ever! Went to watch The Lincoln Lawyer and had a slush-puppy with Elm, then fetched my headphones by Lutho, went to have drinks at News Cafe with Elm n Gen. Now I've popped headache-pills and really hope they shall knock it out of me. But until then I suppose skype shall suffice as entertainment.

Tomorrow I really need to clean this place......
Tata!

So I wrote this long ass post which is just useless letters formed into words who become sentences with the aid of full stops and commas and whatever other punctuation one would feel appropriate for the given scenario. Ended up being mambojambo.

I can therefore summarise my life rather neatly. My academic career committed suicide earlier today. I am about to meet up with ma boys to drown these sorrows. I am terribly upset that I can't drink more than one drink without getting tipsy. And it is terribly cold. Oh yes, and I am leaving for Sweden on Monday, shall be there on Tuesday. That means 18 hours or so of me, myself and my brain. Never ever have I looked more forward to spending time with myself!

That's it for now. Adioso!

Can't see straight. And this thing with timing.... Well it's not really on track as usual. I need to sleep for, ehm 3 hours.... Lovely! And I'm so not prepared for tomorrow. But I'm happy. So goddamn weird. I'm however still not really convinced....what comes first; the who or the what?

There's something incredible about this life of mine. It just keeps happening. Over and over and over again. Lovelovelove! Now some more insurance and Laura Jansen. Love that girl's voice!

 
So I've been thinking lately. What comes first really, the who or the what? Do you adjust the what after the who, or the who after the what? And if you don't know the what, will you then know the who?

helo. i am rather extremely pleased with life right now. it's been a terribly exciting evening/night. and now my favourite lesbian has gone straight again. oh the enjoyment of having friends that are more random than myself. lovelovelove it!

oh yes, the studying didn't really work out....to say the least!

So I completely forgot to show what happened yesterday......

Rather amazing indeed!

helo. i shall now try out a new thing. a.k.a. my desk. they say it's a good start when one wants to study. to sit by a desk. it is about to be confirmed or perhaps not. insurance law & sale and lease of land, here i come!

So life is rather amazing, and it was so much fun yesterday!

....Now back to reality, and studying. I am so terribly over sitting in front of these goddamn books! But only one more to go....and I would really like it if I could feel comfortable with at least one of the 7 exams I've written....