I really thought my proneness of drama had calmed down and life was getting easy. A healthy blend of university, studies, basketball and friends. On Wednesday when I got back in town, I decided to sort out the issue of silent treatment. As we all know, silent treatment isn't a method I respond very lets say...good, to. Rather the complete opposite in fact. So I phone S that has decided to not speak to me for the previous week...Meet up...And now he's gone. Like Missing In Action. M.I.A. Not because of me. Or him. Or whatever that was. But because of something completely different. Something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. I can still not comprehend the situation. Nor how it took him TWO WEEKS to share the information. Nor how I had to drag it out of him. So many stupid things during ten stupid minutes in the middle of one stupid street. Stupid men and their stupid egos that ruins my stupid happy bubble.

So I've currently spent almost 9 hours alone. By myself. In this fucking flat. And I'm possibly having the biggest meltdown of the year. I can't stop shaking and would love to take a long bath and lie under the water and pretend the world doesn't exist, but this tattoo is not properly healed yet so that's out of question. I don't even know what is going on with me anymore. Haven't sat down and had a moment to myself since I don't know when, probably the last time I struggled to get off the floor due to crying and lack of breathing capability.

My car is hopefully coming back tomorrow. When I'm also writing public ecos. Then after that test I shall try to sort out the things I do not speak of.

It's a long weekend this weekend. That could really have happened ANY OTHER FUCKING TIME.

I've tried to cook. Ended up throwing up. Might not have been the brightest of ideas. I have a goddamn fever and a lump in my tummy of how loneliness is so much better when you're not alone.

 
Ah talk about a draining day! Every single fucking phone call I've made has either been 1. Rejected or 2. Not answered. Which in my book is pretty much the same thing. And can I expect a call in return? No apparently that's no longer the norm. So I am officially done with people. When not even my mother is picking up her phone. Well it's finito!

I'm almost done with this godforsaken assignment as well! Only a 500 word conclusion and the thing is over and done with. I'm contemplating finding food, and I would kill for a cup of coffee, but due to the lack of sleep. Yes, two-three hours is just not enough. Why have I slept so little? Well it's sure as hell not by choice, and it's making these past days so much worse than what they've probably been. And it's making the people seem so much meaner than what they probably are. And I'm feeling more neglected than what I might possibly be.

Good thing about today? Apparently my favourite lecturer of all times Ismail is telling people I got 100% for last years semester test in Financial Markets...oh boy! oh boy! Aaaand the new ELLE is out!

Soo it's 01.40 and I have yet to start studying... Ah kill me fucking slowly and praise the Lord for caffeine!

400 words left until this bloody assignment is done! Other than that this weekend has been filled with alot of....alcohol, and pain, and alcohol and then some more goddamn pain! I need to start the tax assignment aswell, and finish it.. So much to do, and all I really want to do is sleep... Thus I'm avoiding my bed... The horror! The horror!